12. November 2008 by Ria.

As you see, Ed is still in mourning after a good friend of his was turned into some mutated freak in the last episode, then splattered all over the wall like some graffiti art. “Too bad Ed, she’s dead and won’t be coming back, so can you please get over it so that you don’t interrupt the flow of the series?” 

This episode should be renamed, “The day Ed almost got owned by the serial killer.” Yes, that’s right, a maniac is on the loose in Central and is killing young women and girls with Ed’s long time friend Winry being the next target. She travels to Central to congratulate Ed and Al for becoming state alchemists, but who in the hell asked her to come?

No seriously, don’t you hate when people pop up at your house uninvited? Not only did Winry spring up out of nowhere, but she also found time to stop off and get captured by Mr. Serial Killer. This is why you always tell people where you’re going, and never show up uninvited to somebody’s house, unless it’s your boyfriend/girlfriend who you’re trying to catch in the act of cheating.

Not only that, but whatever you do, never stick your nose into somebody else refrigerated truck, ok? Yes, that was how Winry got captured in the first place, by stepping inside of a freezer on wheels to see what it looked like from the inside. Now Winry thought it was ok since the owner was a woman, but hell, women can be psycho too, just look at me!

In fact, it’s not a guy that kidnaps Winry, but a man in drag and this is why you should never get into a moving vehicle with someone you don’t know, unless it’s some old geezer or midget that you know for sure that you can take down.  

So Winry gets captured, then Ed as he is caught off guard by the maniac killer drag queen while searching for her. He finds himself in some kind of a cold storage meat room, and comes face to face with the dude who goes by the name of Barry. Just look at the picture above, wasn’t he better lookin’ as a chick? So now he’s holding two people captive, then proceeds to slice off Ed’s mechanical arm so that he won’t be able to use alchemy to escape.

But somehow, Ed is able to draw a transmutation circle with a screw on the bottom of his chair and free himself. Okay, that is so cheating, where did he get the screw from, and how is it that the circle was drawn so perfectly even though he couldn’t get a good look at what he was doing? Not only that, can you really draw a perfect transmutation circle with a screw?

Well, don’t mind me, after all this is anime so I won’t make too big of a fuss about it. Now for any of you that like horror movies, you’re gonna love this since you get a chance to see one of your anime heroes not only trying to escape being hacked to pieces by a maniac killer, but trying to rescue his friend as well, with very little luck. But who knows, maybe Ed can take this guy. After all, who’d be afraid of some dude wearing a dress and sandals?

After several minutes of some very good horror, Al and the Calvary comes in to arrest Barry and save the day. Damn, can poor Ed take any more torture before he’s headed for a nervous breakdown?

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9. November 2008 by Ria.

In episode 6, Ed passes the state alchemy exam, and now works for the military, good for him. And all this because he can use alchemy without a transmutation circle. Now he and Al have been staying at some dude’s home, another alchemist that goes by the name of Shou Tucker. This guy lives in a huge mansion, and probably enjoys all the other luxuries most rich people do, but there’s a catch.

In order to keep up all this high living, he must get through assessment day, or his certification as a state alchemist can be revoked. In other words, Tucker has to submit a significant finding from his research, or presto! No more mansion, and millionaire lifestyle.

A couple of years ago he made a chimera, but how in the hell am I supposed to know what that is? Hold on, let’s see what dictionary.com has to say, I’ll be right back………………………………………………………………………Okay, it says here that a chimera can be a mythological fire breathing creature. Well, I don’t think that’s what he created, so I’ll keep reading………..It also says a chimera can be a similarly grotesque monster having disparate parts. Hmmmm, maybe.

Oooh look, another definition. This one states that a chimera is an organism composed of two or more genetically distinct tissues……that’s more like it. Okay, so Tucker made this chimera a couple of years ago. Problem is his wife has been gone for the same length of time. Yes, spouses leave each other, that’s nothing new, but it seems that there are numerous stories floating around regarding the disappearance of Tucker’s wife, so Ed and Al investigate.

They do some snooping around and find chimera #2, and this one talks. Only thing is, it’s Tucker’s daughter Nina fused together with her pet dog. Okay, now I’ve really heard everything. Can you believe this guy? He used his family in a cruel experiment just to keep the bucks comin’ in, what a creep! This is the thing, if you want to use human beings as guinea pigs, fine. But don’t use your own family for pete’s sake, go out there and kidnap someone else’s wife and kid, that’s the only sane way to go!

Ed is really devastated over this, and is about to use alchemy to split them up (after beating the crap out of Tucker), who states that the process is irreversible. Oh well, too bad. I was kind of getting tired of that little girl’s voice anyway, I had to listen to it all throughout this and the last episode, so I’m kind of glad she got turned into a chimera. Well it wasn’t my daughter, why should I care?

Army personnel arrive, arrest Tucker, take the chimera away and tell Ed not to tell anyone about it. Not only that, but he also gets elbowed for talking too much crap. Ed gets his revenge by using alchemy to overturn the truck Nina (the chimera) was riding in, and she gets away.

Problem is she runs down a dark alley, where this guy named Scar is hanging out. Now I don’t know much about this dude, but he’s got some strange power, and he hates state alchemist and wants to kill them all. Anyway, Scar instantly realizes that the chimera is a freakazoid, and destroys it. Too bad for Ed and Al, as they find chimera guts splattered on a wall while Scar splits.

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1. September 2008 by Ria.

No, I won’t be posting anything on episode 3, which deals with how Ed and Al became alchemists in the first place, but I’ll just sum it up for you. The dad ran off a while back, probably with the meter maid, the mom died, and the boys tried to resurrect her from the dead using alchemy.

It backfired on them, with Ed losing a leg and an arm, and Al losing his whole body. Luckily, Ed was able to put his brother’s soul into a suit of armor, and now he’s walking around scaring the hell out of people.

Okay, let’s get into this episode, which opens up with Ed and Al bummin’ around a train station. This guy tries to steal this lady’s purse, and immediately Ed uses a transmutation circle to put this thief behind bars. “Nice goin’ guys, but how are you able to draw that circle so fast?”

The police is totally impressed by this and tells the guys of another alchemist by the name of Majhal. This name sounds familiar to our young heroes, as they remember that name from the father’s old letters, so they decided to pay the dude a visit. When they finally meet, Ed asks Majhal about human transmutation so that he can return Al back to his body, unfortunately Majhal doesn’t want any part of it.

Oh yeah, I can’t forget about the brat Clause, whose sister was killed by the Karin ghost that’s combing the countryside, killing people. Don’t ask me how a ghost can take people out, I didn’t write this story. Anyway, Clause has a huge chip on her shoulders, which is probably why she dresses like a boy and has a very nasty attitude.

Finding out that Ed and Al are alchemists, she asks for their help to avenge the death of her sister. Now you know that our heroes aren’t vigilantes, and of course they say “hell no”, but this rejection really sets Clause off. She explodes, and calls them a couple of chickens. Oh, and that’s not all, Ed gets branded with the title, “Pip Squeak”, and Al gets labeled “a walking trash can.”

It seems like Al’s feelings are hurt, but Ed is totally pissed off, and fires back by calling Clause a paperboy. Damn, is that all he can come up with? I would have called her a dumb bitch, but hey, that’s just me. Anyway, Ed does some snooping around, and finds a bunch of Karin dolls in Majhal’s home.

Majhal catches him, and the gag is up, he’s been found out, and now we know the real story. Karin was some chick he had the hots for, but she died in some freak accident. In a ressurection attempt, he used the souls of women and girls to create spirit attachments so that he can form living visions of Karin.

Only thing is, Ed finds out that Karin is not really dead, she’s Majhal’s assistant and he’s really devastated to find this out ’cause this is what she looks like now…..

Okay, so she didn’t age very well and she looks like an old hag, but Majhal looks like crap too, so what’s with all this attitude? In utter devastation, Majhal tries to attack the boys, but of course he gets owned and ends up dying.

Good, now everything can return to normal, and that includes Clause, who can stop holding a grudge, and go back to being a girl once again. How about that, a sad love story with a OK ending.

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