7. June 2008 by Ria.

So the gang gets back after completing a grueling mission, Not! All Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura had to do was track down a lost cat, but hey, I don’t train ninjas so don’t look at me. So Naruto gets all pissed off, and tells the Hokage that he wants a real ninja mission, even though the only ones available to him at the Genin level is babysitting, and digging up potatoes.

Okay, can someone please tell me what kind of ninja attacks do you learn helping with the grocery shopping? After Naruto gets done raising hell, the Hokage gives him a level C mission, to make sure Tazuna the bridge builder gets back to the land of waves safely, and to stay with him until the bridge is complete.

Only thing is,Tazuna is a jerk as he enters the room chuggin’ down a 40 ounce. First thing out of his mouth, what’s with the snot nose kids, and that there’s no way the little one with the idiotic look on his face is a ninja. Now Naruto starts laughing, no way in the world that lush is talkin’ about him.

But wait, let’s see here, Sakura, and Kasuke come to the yellow line, while Naruto only comes to the red line. ”Too bad Naruto, I guess he’s talkin’ about you!”  Once again he gets all pissed off, and wants to slap Tazuna around, but we know nobody is afraid of him, so let’s move on now.

All throughout the trip, Naruto is talking smack, like how he’s gonna become a Hokage Ninja, but chokes in his first confrontation. What happens is The Demon Brothers (Chunin Ninjas) invite themselves to the party-First they take out Kakashi, next target is Tazuna, until Sasuke and Sakura step in.

Now Sasuke is handling those guys pretty well, but remember, he’s just a emo brat, eh, I mean a first level ninja (Genin), so he’s only gonna get so far. Sakura jumps in front of Tazuna in order to protect him, which is kind of interesting, since she really can’t do squat, but she does more than Naruto, who’s just standing there lookin’ like he’s just seen a ghost.

Then, out of nowhere, Kakashe shows up, and owns those Chunin losers, yes he used a replacement Jutsu and fooled those Demon Brothers, and now they’re toast. Sakura is glad that Kakashe is okay, while Sasuke calls him a show-off. “What are you talkin’ about Sasuke? If Kakashe didn’t show up, your ass would be grass, so you really need to be thankful and shut up!”

Not only did Naruto choke during this fight, but he had the nerve to get hurt by poisoned claws, now everybody have to go back to the village to attend to big (or maybe in the case, little) baby, Naruto. Wait minute, what’s this? Naruto stabs himself in the hand in order to take the poison out. Well, that eliminates the need of a doctor, I guess.

Then he pledges upon his wound, not to ever back down from another fight, and will never let anyone rescue him again. “Well Naruto, that’s a nice speech, BUT I STILL WOULDN’T TRUST YOU WITH MY LIFE!” Well, I’m so glad that conflict is over, or not, ’cause Tazuna has some explaining to do.

See, Kakashe finds out that those ninjas are after him, but Tazuna didn’t pay for 1st or 2nd level ninja protection, which would have been ranked as a A or B mission. In the next episode, Tazuna explains why, but we all know he’s either a cheap bastard, or a broke one. Make sure to read the next episode to find out which one he really is.

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7. June 2008 by Ria.

There’s only one word to describe this anime series, disappointing! Now I was going to do an episode by episode review on this romantic comedy, but after seeing the first DVD, I decided to pass on that. Look, I understand that high school kids develop crushes on each other, but this is a bit ridiculous!

Let’s meet Tenma Tsukamoto, a high school retard who has a crush on a guy named Oji, some weirdo that looks like Pinocchio. I’m serious, he does, just take a good look at the picture below, what girl with good eyesight would fall for a dude that looks like that?

Now this is the thing, in the first five episodes, there is no character development with either one of them. Maybe this changes in further episodes, but guess what, I’m not stickin’ around long enough to find out. So in the first DVD, all we really know about Oji, is that he’s a loner, possibly an emo, but I can’t verify that.

The plot revolves around Tenma chasing this guy all over school, and their neighborhood, which gets to be annoying after a while. Hey wait, I just remembered, we really don’t find out anything about Tenma either. All we know is that she’s a stupid girl with a one track mind who’s probably failing all of her classes, just so she can run after some dude who I’m sure is not worth the time of day.

In comes Kenji Harima, a self proclaimed bad-ass, who has the hots for Tenma, but my question is, why? Now he brings a bit of a personality to the table, which makes him fun to watch, but unfortunately he’s not the main character in the series, and we’re left to suffer with stupid Tenma, and her stale bread friends.

Now in many ways, Kenji can be a bit rediculous too, since he seems to lean towards the macho side, but doesn’t have the guts to approach Tenma, to tell her how he feels (as if she would care anyway). Why this fears exists comes out in episode 4, but trust me, it’s a dumb reason, and its’ kind of hard to believe that someone as hardcore as Kenji is stuck on a bimbo.

In order for you to see just how bad this anime is, let’s compare a good  series, like Fruits Basket, with this one. In Fruits Basket, we find out a lot about Tohru Honda in the first episode. She lost her mother in a car accident, and because of housing rennovations, she is now living in a tent on the Sohma’s property. 

We also know that she’s works hard in school, and she also has a part time job cleaning homes in order to pay her schooling. There! Now we have know a lot about this girl, and we can sit back, and watch her character evolve as she affects those around her in later episodes.  Now in the first five episodes of School Rumble, we don’t know crap about this Tenma chick, so the evolution of her character remains stagnant along with the rest of her friends. 

In episode 4, anime writers to try to shift the plot from Tenma to her sister, Yakumo, but it’s too late, I’ve already lost interest, and she’s about as lame as her sister, so I’ll just put this anime series to rest. Funeral starts at 10pm on Sunday, so make sure you’re there.

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