1. May 2008 by Ria.

This movie really needs to be in the comedy section, ’cause its funny as hell, except things get a little more serious near the end. So here we have Alan (Don Cheadle), a good looking dentist with a boring life, and Charlie (Adam Sandler), hilarious, but an extreme basket case after losing wife and 3 kids in the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

I’m telling you, he’s got some serious issues, he has no friends (until Alan), pushes his in-laws away, and tries to pretend his family never existed. ”You know Charlie, you’re a complete weirdo, why don’t you go attend some anger management classes, and get some grief counseling?” However, Charlie does has a couple of things going for him. First of all, he has a strange sense of humor, and second, the man is sittin’ on a couple millions, so I’m sure there are plenty of people that would love to chum it up with him.

Now Alan is havin’ a good ol’ time hanging out with Charlie, they play video games, and go to the movies together, but Alan’s wife Janeane (Jada Pinkett Smith) is jealous of their friendship. Please, who in the hell would want to hang out with her, putting together puzzle pieces all night, and attending photography classes, I’d rather hang out with crazy Charlie, than stale bread Janeane any day.

But it gets kind of hard to be friends with Charlie, since you never know when he’s gonna snap, so Alan tries to get him to see a therapist. Now I honestly think he should have stayed out of it, but I guess if they were gonna stay friends, Charlie would have to talk to someone. Okay, so Charlie is in counseling, but instead of dealing with his grief, he starts talking about the therapist’s boobs, and dumb stuff like that. See, when it comes to seeing a counselor, I believe that men should see men, and women should see women, to avoid sexual stuff like that from coming out.

“I don’t know Ms. Therapist, Charlie sounds like a hopeless case, and I know he’s getting on your nerves, but continue to see him anyway so you can keep milking him for $300 a hour, or whatever you’re charging, don’t worry, he’s good for it.” While the therapy sessions didn’t work, Charlie decides to open up to Alan.

Unfortunately, talking about his family causes him to wig out, and is arrested by police after a waving-a-gun-around episode. Charlie is forced to have psychiatric evaluations, in which the hospital wants to see him committed. Of course the hospital would like him in there, so they can financially rape him, then throw his crazy butt back out on the street when he runs out of money.

Well Alan and in-laws step in to see that it doesn’t happen, and on top of that, Alan brings another crazy person to Charlie’s house (a dental patient, another hilarious story), I guess just to see if she can help Charlie with his broken heart. I don’t know about that, but she can definitely help herself to his millions of dollars, I know I would.

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1. May 2008 by Ria.

Okay, lets talk about the star of the series, Asato Tsuzuki. He’s a shinigami, in other words, a guardian of death., and his main job is to make sure that reincarnation is a smooth process for all human souls. Now Tsuzuki takes his work very seriously (well some don’t think so), but can be extremely silly over food. For example, at the beginning of the episode, he misses a meeting, a very important meeting, just so he can grab some cinnabons.

Slackin’ off for some coffee rolls, okay, I can deal with that, but see, this is where Tsuzuki gets into trouble. He actually takes the rolls back to work with him, and as payback, his co-workers quickly help themselves to some, leaving barely a crumb. “Tsuzuki, you can be such a dumb-ass sometimes, why didn’t you just hide the stuff in your trench coat, or in your car? Don’t take evidence of the crime to work with you!”

Now after feeding his co-workers to a tasty treat, he gets sent to Nagasaki with a allowance of 3,000 yen a day. Now if you convert that to American dollars, he’s looking at a daily expenditure of almost $29.00. “WHAT? WHO IN THE HELL CAN BUY BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER ON $29.00 THESE DAYS?”  Oh well, all is not lost. He’ll just have to hop on over to McDonald’s a few times in the morning, then maybe Burger King at night, and he’ll be all right.

So Tsuzuki is now in Nagasaki, along with another co-worker Gushoshin. Now take a good look at his picture, unless he’s got the I’ll-slice-you-in-half-and-make-you-drop-dead spell, I don’t want his chicken/duck lookin’ ass hangin’ out with me. C’mon, think about it, if you’re out there fighting vampires, and other crazy demons, do you really want some pokemon lookin’ creature that can’t do anything by your side?

Okay, so Tsuzuki and Gushoshin runs into a vampire chick who just bit someone, so they run after her, and what do you know, Gushoshin gets caught up in a bag of groceries, now how pathetic is that? Well thank goodness he’s only a temporary helper, ’cause Tsuzuki is about to meet up with his permanent partner in just a few minutes.

Tsuzuki follows the vampire chick into a church, and that’s when we meet evil doctor Kazutaka Muraki. Now he’s kind of sexy, but I think he has a crush on Tsuzuki, so I’ll just back off, since its obvious that I’m not his type. I can’t blame him though, I mean, if you look at Tsuzuki’s gorgeous violet eyes, you’d fall in love with him too. Well, vampire chick is nowhere to be seen, but he runs into his new partner, Hisoka Kurosaki, a sixteen year old lookin’ shinigami, who almost put a bullet in Tsuzuki for mistaking him for the vampire.

Gushoshin runs in (I guess he freed himself from everyone’s shopping bags) and introduces the two, but Hisoka cops an attitude. Anyway, the three of them are at this restaurant, and Tsuzuki is just stuffing his face as usual. then he and Hisoka start fighting over the last piece of food. Hisoka gets the last piece, but Tsuzuki puts hot sauce on it. Hisoka drinks a whole glass of red wine and passes out. Goodness gracious, what a couple of shinigami retards!

Now after Hisoka can’t-handle-my-liquor Kurosaki revives himself, he and Tsuzuki follow the woman they think to be involved with the vampire killings, a lady by the name of Maria Wong. They eventually corner her, but she sends a dragon to deal with them. We all know that Hisoka is too young and naive to do anything, so now we have to depend on Tsuzuki, who unleashes one of his kick ass spells that brings forth some kind of a fire demon who owns the dragon, and the battle is over.

Well, the battle is won, but the war is still raging, Tsuzuki finds out that Maria Won died some time ago, and we find out that evil doctor Muraki is behind this whole thing. In what way, we shall find out in the next couple of episodes!

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