29. April 2008 by Ria.

Now for all of you that either watch Bleach, or subscribe to my feed, you know that in episode 11, Uryu challenged Ichigo to a match, to see whose better, Quincys or Soul Reapers. This episode starts off with Ichigo wanting to know the rules of this duel,”Well Ichigo, here they are, rule #1, you allow yourself to get slapped around by Uryu for a couple of hours, and rule #2, if you’re still alive, you can go ahead and admit defeat, do you understand?”

“What, you don’t like my rules?” Apparently Uryu doesn’t either, as he has devised his own. Whoever kills the most hollows in 24 hours is the winner. Now Uryu has some kind of a coin that brings out the hollows, and the contest is on. Ichigo is pissed off, because he knows that a hollow can get away, and actually kill someone, and for once I agree with him. “Uryu, you’re a cool guy, but you’re being kind of stupid right now, unleashing a whole herd of hollows on the town like that, you and Ichigo better kill them all, or else.”

So they split up to go hollow hunting, but Ichigo is trying to stay close to his sister Karin, since hollows will attack those with the most spiritual powers first. “Yes hollows, please go after her, she’s a pain in the butt, and a total waste of a character.” Uryu thinks that Ichigo is completely blind to the fact that other people around him have spiritual powers also, like Orihime, but since nobody cares about her, we won’t tell Ichigo, and hopefully she’ll get attacked by a hollow, and that will be the end of her.

You know, I shouldn’t say that, I kind of like Orihime, its just that she can be stupid sometimes, and she’s always pokin’ her nose in someone else’s business, especially Ichigo’s. Okay, now back to the fight, Ichigo’s doing okay, owning all those hollows, and Uryu seems to be doing fine as well, but if I was Uryu, I’d sneak off to the movies, and let Ichigo fight all those hollows by himself. Then I’d mess up my clothes, and go find Ichigo when the 24 hours were up, and tell him I killed about 5,000 hollows, so I’m obviously the winner.

I don’t think Uryu is the cheatin’ type, so we’ll just leave that alone, and move on to my man Chad. You know Chad has spiritual powers also, right? Okay, so he’s hangin’ out with his friends, about to chow down at some hip restaurant, when all the sudden a hollow comes to join in. Chad can’t see the hollow clearly, so he runs away, trying to get the hollow to follow him, and not attack anyone else. Unfortunately Chad leads him to the playground where Karin and her friends are playing.

Good, now the hollow can pound her into the ground, and I can sit back and laugh. Well, you know Chad is not gonna let that happen, so now its Karin and Chad trying to escape the hollow, but it gets a lucky shot in there, and Chad is wounded a bit. Uh, oh, he’s having a flashback, so lets see what this is all about. Its Obuelo, scolding a younger Chad for beatin’ the crap out of somebody, don’t know who. Obuelo starts talking crap like, Whats the point of hitting someone if you hurt those who hurt you?

“Well that’s the whole point stupid, if someone hits you, you beat their ass, then break them in half, and the world is a happier place, didn’t you know that Obuelo?” Anyway, enough of the flashback. Now Chad is just lying there, beggin’ his dead relative to give him the power to own this hollow, and PRESTO! It’s SuperChad! Not only can Chad now see the hollow, but he’s got this awesome armor wrapped around his whole arm, and he uses it to spank hollow, and that’s the end of that.

Now I would like to tell you who won the 24 hour hollow contest between Ichigo, and Uryu, but unfortunately, that’s the end of this episode, and the end of the DVD, so you’ll just have to wait for me to rent the next one, which should be soon. Okay, what’s next on the anime list, Descendants of Darkness, more Melancholy Stuff, and for all you Naruto freaks, I haven’t forgotten about you, your guy will be coming up soon in the next 7 days, so be on the lookout.

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29. April 2008 by Ria.

Kyon not only co-stars but narrates during the whole series, and I must say he does a pretty good job, so I’m gonna give this episode an extra star. He speaks well, and is kind of cute too, how in the world did he get mixed up with Haruhi? Kyon will explain everything to us, the scene opens up with him talking crap that no one cares about, so we’ll just skip that mess and go into his classroom where we can meet Ms. Suzumiya.

Let me just give you the heads up on Haruhi, she’s a cocky, stuck-up cow with a chip on her shoulders. Now a lot of people think she’s beautiful, “Oh yeah, compared to who, Godzilla? Sorry, but in my opinion, Mikuru is way better lookin’ than her.” Now in this scene, Haruhi gets up to introduce herself, and the first thing out of her mouth is some stupid stuff, saying all espers, aliens, and time travelers should come see her immediately.

What in the hell is an esper, can somebody tell me, ’cause I still don’t know! “Thanks Haruhi, for just making a complete fool of yourself, keep it up!” Kyon sits right in front of her in class, so its only natural for him to lean over, and want to chew the rag with her, but she’s such a snooty snot, every time Kyon tries to say something to her, she snaps on him.

For our amusement, Kyon starts pointing out Haruhi’s eccentricities, like she sports a different hairstyle everyday. “So what, that doesn’t make her a weirdo. Kyon, you must be bored, or have the hots for her, why are you paying attention to her hair, don’t you have something better to do? You really need to keep your eyeballs focused in those books before you fail your classes, and your parents end up beating the crap out of you!”

The next eccentricity on Kyon’s list is the fact that Haruhi will change her clothes in front of everyone, including the guys, “No, that doesn’t make her peculiar, that makes her a crazy ass psychopath, and the principal should throw her in detention, or suspend her until she gets her act together!”

After a while Kyon and Haruhi actually start having normal conversations, now remember, Kyon thinks she’s weird, but yet he keeps trying to talk to her, now why is that? Oh wait, I forgot, he thinks she’s beautiful, crazy but nice to look at, so she can get away with having a lousy personality, and being a complete witch.

Anyway, Haruhi decides to start her own club, and demands Kyon to help her. Yuki Nagato joins (by default), and Haruhi kidnaps Mikuru, and makes her join as well. Then she starts squishing Mikuru’s boobs, “HARUHI, NOT ONLY ARE YOU A BOSSY WITCH, BUT YOU’RE A PERVERT TOO!” Man, if I was there, I’d slap her down to the ground, then run her face up and down the chalkboard, like an eraser.

Okay, I’m completely pissed off now, but its not over, there’s more to come on this DVD, so stay tuned!

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Volume 1

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