28. April 2008 by Ria.

This is the kind of movie I like, the ones that start off boring as hell, but then after about 20 minutes into it, delivers non-stop action all the way to the end. First scene we have a happy couple, Rob and Beth, two people in love, oh how cute, until the aliens come and own the whole city of Manhattan. You know, this movie actually had a happy ending, because the film camera survived. “What? Well that’s better than no survivors!”

Beforehand, no one told me what the movie was about, so I didn’t know what to expect, and after the first couple of scenes, I was like, “Man, this story line had better pick up fast, because this is some boring crap going on now.” Now the party scene was cool, everybody schmoozin’ it up, spreading gossip, having a good time, ’till the alien and his buddies crashed the party (and all of Manhattan), and all hell broke loose.

So we’ve got Rob, his brother Jason, and friends Hud, and Lily. Now Jason dies on Brooklyn Bridge, so that’s one down and three more to go. One of the things they do to escape Mr. Alien, is to go into the subway, now I think that’s one of the dumbest things you can do. With all the attackin’ going on, the ground could have caved in from above, then they’d be trapped like rats.

Another dumb thing that transpired was when Rob decides to play Mr. Hero by rescuing Beth. Hey, nothing wrong with that (even though I would have left her ass there), but why is he trying to get into an elevator that may not work? The building was partially destroyed after Mr. Alien payed the tenants a visit, so why rush into an elevator if there might be a chance that you may get stuck, and there’s no one to come get you out?

Whatever, anyway, Beth is rescued, and they make it to the helicopter, which crashes later on, now I’ve got some issues with this. Remember, the military are attacking this thing by air, so who in the hell would want to be in a helicopter so that they can be in the middle of crossfire? Now the helicopter crashes, but amazingly, Rob, Beth, and Hud survive, but not for long, ’cause Mr. Alien was waiting for their arrival, so that he could smack Hud senseless for carrying that silly ass camera around through the whole movie.

Now Beth and Rob run underneath a bridge in Central Park, once again, another bad move. “What’s wrong with you two, do you really think Mr. Alien is that stupid? All he has to do, is pound on the bridge with his foot, and that’s the end of you two.” Well, the end came anyway, but it wasn’t from Mr. Alien, it was all the explosions that were going on, which caused the collapse of the bridge.

You know, this movie is a cross between the Blair Witch Project, and War of the Worlds, which gives me an idea, maybe I should review one of them next month. Before I go, I just have a quick question, when there’s some kind of attack on New York, why is it that the Statue of Liberty always has to suffer (ex. this movie, and Planet of the Apes), what did she ever do to anyone?

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28. April 2008 by Ria.

You know I read that this film was shot with a budget of $50,000. Now I wonder how much of that Lugosi got, what do you think, probably a couple thousand? Damn, no wonder he died broke. I also read that the film was shot in eleven days, which explains the sub-par acting (not by Lugosi), but hey, its still a classic. If you’re into zombies, then you’re really gonna love this film. Unfortunately you won’t see them tearing bodies apart and eating them, but they’re more controlled, and they know how to do stuff, like work in sugar mills, grave-robbing, and playing the piano, so make sure you don’t miss that.

The movie starts off with another suck-butt couple Neil (John Harron), and Madeleine (Madge Bellamy), who are about to be married at the home of back stabbing friend Charles (Robert Frazer). To be totally honest with you, this guy isn’t even a friend, he’s a super jerk, who isn’t to be trusted. I mean, talk about no class, he allows a couple to get married in his home, so that he can persuade the bride to marry him instead.

What a dreamer, to think that Madeleine is gonna dump her fiance to run off with that clown. Anyway, Charles is running out of time, and decides to pay a visit to zombie voodoo master Murder Legendre (Lugosi) in his sugar mill. Yes, Murder is his first name, and don’t ask me why, I didn’t write the script. Charles asks Legendre if there’s anything he can do to stop the wedding, and Lugosi says that his only option at this point, is to turn her into a zombie with one of his potions.

In the beginning, Charles is against this, but since there is no other woman that would put up with his crap, he gets desperate, and decides to use the zombie potion on Madeleine on her wedding night. Now who in the hell is that lonely that they would want to be married to a zombie? Hmmm, wait, let me think about this for a minute, maybe its not such a bad idea, especially if you’re a stuck up brat who has to have the last word in every argument, remember, zombies don’t talk back.

Okay, so now Madeleine is a zombie, and now Legendre (who has the hots for her also), takes control of her, and tries to do away with Charles and Neil, but doesn’t succeed. I don’t understand, why are all these guys after Madeleine, c’mon now, she’s not all that. Now after a little bit of scufflin’ ,Legendre and Charles lose their life in the end, and Madeleine is unzombified, and can now run off with hubby Neil.

Wait a minute, how does someone become unzombified, I thought when you became a zombie, it was for life? This movie definitely needs to be restored, the picture quality was not good by any means, and the plot was pretty lame, but Lugosi gives it that one-two punch, and that’s why I’m giving it 3 stars. Oh, and another thing, he looks kind of handsome with that goethe!

White Zombie

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