HELLSING-EPISODE 9-RED ROSE VERTIGO-2 STARS

Okay boys and girls, this is the last episode on this Search and Destroy DVD, so let’s get into this. The scene starts off with some weird guy laying on some kind of operating table, and he’s naked. Trust me, there’s nothing to see, so all you pervs out there just calm down. Besides, he’s ugly anyway, so don’t knock yourself out trying to see his private parts.

So the guy is laying on this table, and this deep, scary voice comes out of nowhere, asking him if he would like to live forever, and the guy finally says yes, so these things penetrate his body, and the scene cuts off, and another one starts. Now, I’m not sure what this has to do with the tea in China, but maybe things will be fully explained on the next DVD, I don’t know.

You know, to live forever is a huge step, maybe that guy should have told that voice, “You know Mr. Whoever you are, I need a couple of days to think about it, and then I’ll get back to you.”  I don’t know, maybe the guy was about to die, and he had to make a decision right then and there, but people don’t understand the connotations of living forever. If you’re a guy, just think of all the times you’ll get married and have flings, and all the women that will be standing in line, trying to get that child support, so something for you guys to think about.

Now if you’re a woman, think of all that unprotected sex you’ll have over the course of a few centuries, and all the children that will appear, resulting in some serious baggage when the guy takes off, and then what? You think some guy will want to get involved with a woman and her 100 kids? Not only that, why are you trying to overpopulate the earth?

Well, whatever, enough of that, next scene, Sir Integra is having some crazy dreams, and she wakes up with some vampire woman named Laura standing over, doing perverted things to her. Sorry, this isn’t Hentai, so just calm down, and put you eyes back into your sockets. Of course, Integra isn’t enjoying any of this, but since she can’t move, there’s nothing she can do about it. Then, Laura decides to take a huge chunk out of Integra’ s neck. I guess she got pissed off when she saw Integra wasn’t enjoying any of it.

I’m really worried about Integra, but we’re gonna have to leave her for a second, and skip all the way across town to be with Alucard as he meets his biggest Nemesis, Incognito. Okay, everyone’s got a front row seat, right? Now, I’m ready to watch Alucard beat the living (or in this case, dying) mess out of this vampire weirdo, when he opens his big mouth, and reveals to Alucard that Integra won’t be alive for long.

So Alucard flees the scene to be by Integra’s side, and to make sure she’s alright. Damn, and I wanted to see Incognito get owned. Oh well, maybe on the next DVD. Wait, I forgot something, yes, I know, while Integra was getting attacked, Victoria was trying to save her, but Walter (Hellsing Butler) was under Laura’s control, and stopped her from getting into the room.

Alucard, stronger than just about any other vampire was able to get in, and destroy Laura, but too late, Integra was bitten, and soon she’ll be a vampire, NO WAY! Can you imagine her calling ugly- as- hell Incognito master? Then Alucard would be free, right? “Well Alucard, maybe now you will be able to do whatever you want, like hang out in bars all night, bite whomever you want, get some ladies’ phone numbers, do a little traveling, that doesn’t sound too bad, right?”

Well, I don’t know what he’s gonna do, but Sir Integra slashes into her own throat, either to kill herself, or to stop the vampire poison from racing through her body. Damn, that’s a pretty dramatic move, but come on ladies, would you rather have some good looking, cool guy like Alucard under your whim, or have some thing that looks like he’s been ran over a few times by an Amtrak train ordering you around, telling you what to do? The choice is yours, end of episode.

Hellsing - Search and Destroy (Vol. 3)

This entry was posted on 25. March 2008 at 03:50 and is filed under Hellsing Anime. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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