HOUSE OF WAX-1953-3 1/2 STARS

17. March 2008 by Ria.

Horror legend Vincent Price stars as Henry Jarrod, a very gifted sculptor who runs a wax museum. So the movie starts out with Jarrod happily working away, when in comes mean, cruel, and nasty business partner, Matthew (Roy Roberts) to spoil all the fun. Matthew gripes and moans about the museum not returning a big enough profit for him, and demands Jarrod to either make changes, or find someone to buy him out. Well, Jarrod has already set that plan into motion, big time investor Sidney Wallace (Paul Cavanagh) stops by to take a look at things while pondering if he should go into partnership with Jarrod or not.

Finally, Jarrod considers it, but won’t make a final decision to after he gets back from his trip to Egypt which will last about 3 months. Well, this pisses Wallace off, 3 months is way too long for him to wait, so do know what he does? He sets fire to the wax figures right in front of Jarrod, hoping the insurance company will pay off. That’s got to be the dumbest thing I ever heard of, as if Jarrod is going to just sit there while you burn his masterpieces.

Wallace, this is what you’re supposed to do, you’re a partner right? You have keys to the building, right? Good, wait until the middle of the night, when no one is around, use your key, unlock the door, and quietly set fire to the place, and leave. In the morning, when Jarrod and the police start asking questions, you just play the dumb role, and say, “Gee, I don’t know who could have done something so terrible, all I know is that it wasn’t me. I was at home watching the Sci-Fi channel, oh wait, TV wasn’t invented yet, so I guess all I was doing was watching the second hand move slowly on the clock for about an hour, then went to bed.”

www.postpalace.com

See how easy that was? But oh no, you had to be stupid and start a fight right in front of Jarrod, and of course he beat the mess out of you, but unfortunately you got a good lick in, then split before the place blew up, leaving Jarrod inside. Next scene, Wallace is sitting at some restaurant with his sugar baby Cathy (Carolyn Jones), and I’m going to tell you right now, I’m glad she got it, because she was getting on my nerves. She’s got this horrible laugh, and all she does it sit around talking about men all day. Sorry guys we women really don’t do that (notice I said women and not girls).

Anyway, Matthew talks about receiving a check from the insurance company for the sum of $25,000, so he and Cathy can run away together. Matthew goes to his office to get the money, and guess who’s there? Its Jarrod, looking cooler than ever! Okay, so he face is burnt to a crisp, but he’s awesome, much more than the typical scary person. He’s got this wicked black cape, and a hat to match, plus he walks, not straight, but kind of crooked-Well I don’t know how to put it, what kind of example can I give you…………………..Hey, do you remember the movie (one of the best horror flicks ever made), The Shining with Jack Nicholson?

Remember in that movie when Jack Nicholson was limping with an ax in his hand, going after his son? Well, that’s the way Jarrod was walking, you’ve got to see it for yourself, it’s one of the best makeup, wardrobe, and acting jobs I’ve ever seen. Well anyway, he strangles Matthew, ties a knot to his neck, and the other end to an elevator shaft, and throws him down it. He also kills Cathy (thank goodness), covers their body in wax, and opens up another wax museum. He also creates a wax figure of his own face which he wears in public, so he won’t gross everybody out, and of course, no one knows he’s this hideous monster that’s going around killing people.

Cathy’s friend Sue crossed paths with Jarrod a couple of times. She was the one that found Cathy’s body, Jarrod was in the room at the time, decked out in his Creature Feature outfit. He chased her all around the neighborhood before she ended up at a friends house. A couple days later, dumb Sue leaves her window open and there Jarrod was again, about to take her out, when she screamed, and he fled the scene. See, he needs her body too, so that he can complete his Marie Antoinette wax figure, but he doesn’t catch her, well not that time, but…………….

Well, Sue visits the Jarrod’s wax museum a few times, and eventually she finds her friend Cathy’s body, dressed as Joan of Arc and its on now! Jarrod chases and catches her, drugs her, and almost gets away with dipping her into the hot wax, when she’s rescued by the cops. Jarrod kicks butt for a while, but slips up and falls into his own pot of wax. Bye Jarrod, but hey, I love your outfit!

House of Wax

Posted in Classics | Print | No Comments »