SAW IV-2007-1 1/2 STARS

Oh, the torture. I’m not talking about the victims in this movie, I’m talking about me! This is the absolute worst of the Saw Movies made so far, it just goes to show you how Hollywood writers will let a good movie sequel go down the tubes for the sake of a buck. The beginning scene was okay, when the medical examiners were doing an autopsy on Jigsaw.

Blood and guts everywhere, wonderful. I thought bats and words symbolizing formulas (like emc2= pi, or the square root of something or another) were going to fly out of his head when it was split open for the second time. No, they find a microcassette inside the stomach, and they play it. Hey, IT’S JIGSAW TRYING TO SING A MEL TORME TUNE? No, not quite, it’s just more crap about how his work will continue and blah blah blah. Really? I didn’t know there were a lot of serial killers/engineers signing up to go into business with him. Did he place an ad in the paper or something?

The next scene is just more torture. A blind, and a mute man chained in one of Jigsaw’s trap of death. How brutal, but don’t worry, I had my Frank Sinatra songs standing by once again to heal me from the traumatic event. Next scene, detective Kerry from Saw III is found dead, caught in another Jigsaw trap, and Lieutenant Riggs (Lyriq Bent) is pissed off, and decides to become vigiliant. In other words, another police officer plays hero and pays dearly as a result of not being able to think outside the box and outsmart Jigsaw.

Riggs goes home, and gets knocked out by someone. Lets say he was out for about five hours give or take an hour, ’cause trust me, he wasn’t unconscious for a full day!. He wakes up in a tub, goes into his living room, and finds a lady seated in a Jigsaw trap that starts pulling her hair out. There are also numerous pictures hanging about, and a video monitor showing Detective Matthews (of the Wahlberg clan) hanging over a couple blocks of ice.

Okay, wait, back up a second. How in the hell did Mr. Killer get all that stuff inside Rigg’s apartment within a five hour time span with no one noticing? Remember, Riggs lives in an apartment complex. See, if Jigsaw recruited me, and I found out that moving heavy equipment up and down stairs was in the job description, I would have to resign. Well, first I would say, “Okay Jigsaw, I want $50,000 up front, and another $20,000 if I throw my back out as a result of lifting this crap. Oh yeah, I also want an extra $100,000 to pay for my lawyer, just in case I get caught.”

Next, where was the victim while Mr. Killer was planting the torture device? Let’s just say she was tied up somewhere, and now the two of them were on her way to Riggs home. Was she gagged, blindfolded, and held at gunpoint as she trekked her way into the apartment complex?

Did no one not notice this? Moving forward, Riggs snapps out of it, rescues the victim from the trap, but not before she’s totally messed up, and she tries to kill him! Riggs finds another tape, and he falls right into Jigsaw’s scheme. Riggs will try to rescue Matthews on his own, and everyone will suffer because of it. End of Story.

Oh yeah, I can’t forget about the scenes that go back in time when Jigsaw was sane, and married (a fool born every minute) a woman named Jill (Betsy Russell). She was pregnant with his child, but a drug addict slammed a door into her stomach, she lost the baby, and I guess he just lost it. Not only does this not make sense, but three sequels later, who really gives a damn? I want to close this review by telling you that a police buddy, Detective Hoffman is Jigsaw’s successor, Mr. Killer as I’ve named him. I have only one thing to say to that guy, I HOPE JIGSAW IS PAYING YOU A LOT OF MONEY!

Now I have real proof Jigsaw is retarded! Click on the link below!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j0os9Yd434

Saw IV (Unrated Full Screen Edition)

This entry was posted on 27. January 2008 at 20:39 and is filed under Saw Horror Movies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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